The posters say ‘The King Is Back’. The world and its cousins might be talking about one of the most anticipated movies of this year and its slick trailers and thrilling action sequences, but our resident cynic, Molo Swami, gives you 5 reasons, why you should not watch Don 2. This is not a Don 2 review, Mind IT!
1. You hate Shah Rukh Khan
Come on! Accept it, that you can't stand Shah Rukh Khan. You can't tolerate his indefatigable charm and his innate ability to impress everyone, especially women (your mother, wife and girlfriend included). First Shah Rukh - the anti-hero changed your perception about Bollywood heroes, then Shah Rukh - the romantic hero tormented you and raised the expectation bar for all men folk and recently, ShahRukh - the super hero changed your perception about the quality of special effects in Indian films, and if all of these reasons are untrue then you must be a Bong, who could never forgive Shah Rukh Khan for showing Saurav Ganguly the door in IPL.
2. Your entertainment budget for 2011 is over
You have religiously visited the theaters, whenever a good movie has hit the screens, and some times, even if you didn't like the movie, you just had to go and watch the movie as everyone else was talking about it on Facebook or Twitter. Now, in these days of high inflation, when everything costs more and especially prohibitive are the ticket prices at multiplexes for the weekend shows, you simply can't afford to watch any more movies in 2011.
3. You don't watch movies which don't have item numbers by Malaika Arora Khan or Katrina Kaif
Although, you'd hate to accept it, you know, that the key reason behind your watching movies is intrinsically the captivating item numbers that feature in it. When every movie has an item number these days, and when the Item Goddesses make your visit to the theater memorable and also give you full value for your money, who really cares about an action thriller these days, especially one in which cars get blown off in some foreign country? All you want to do is to watch a skimpily dressed (and preferably in ghagra-choli, which can coolly be passed off as Indian ethnic wear, just in case the moral police raises objections) Malaika Arora Khan or a Katrina Kaif, swing to some very regular dance beats, which could be some remixed old number or some rip off (who really cares as long as they just keep dancing!), and of course, you are allergic to Junglee Billis!
4. You belong to the other camp(s)
Loyalty is very important to you and you consider it to be a great virtue. Your friends even consider you to be more loyal than the king. Even though, the other Khans would probably not know you by your first name or even your last name, nevertheless you worship them with unfailing zeal. Although, only a little while ago, you used to like Shah Rukh's films, you have switched camps for some time now. Now, you simply can't go and watch a Shah Rukh film, even if everyone in your family is watching it. You would rather watch it on a pirated DVD and go to jail than be caught in the theaters watching Don 2.
5. The ONLY movie you want to watch this weekend is Don Ke Baad Kaun
Every week, there are so many movies up for release. In fact, in some weeks there are 4 -5 movies lined up for release. For Bollywood, some weekends are bigger than others and some stars have made it a ritual of releasing their movies during particular weekends, which is expected to get them good box-office numbers. However, when big budget movies with big stars are released, others make way for them, not wanting to clash with a biggie, and ruin their chances at getting good numbers. When the Badshah of Bollywood, King Khan releases one of the biggest and most awaited movies of the year, there is only one movie which has the audacity to show up on the very same day. You would, of course, want to show your support for this South Indian movie dubbed in Hindi, directed by Vijay Saxena and starring the inimitable Vijay Saxena himself. Of course, for the first time ever, in the history of movies, a movie and its sequel wil be releasing on the very same day.
Molo Swami is Movie Lover with a twist. He likes to watch all kinds of movies and especially the ones, which are not liked by critics. He has a soft corner for movies which are made with a big heart. Here, you may find him warning you about the bad ones and alerting you about the good ones. But, take his views with a pinch of salt, because, he can contradict himself.
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