CHANDNI CHOWK 2 CHINA
FROM CROWNING A CLOWN TO A CIRCUS OF HORRORS
Cast: Mithun Chakraborty, Akshay Kumar, Deepika,
The terms Chandni Chowk 2 China and china are synonymous with visions of exotic eastern grandeur and lustrous spend our, so suffice it to say this is a grandiose recycling of the queer depths of infamous crossfire that Indian cinema is caught the audience ingratiatingly to turn them into opiate fed morons or so they presume, as if there are masses who will buy a ticket to see their heritage being plundered in the name of sham art.
Mr Akshay Kumar is a celebrity riddle who looked good in a tuxedo with Shilpa Shetty in Dhadkan and then actually managed a performance in the classic Khakee, which is the last time he was a normal human being as since then he has metamorphosed into a sicko self styled king who is easily the Jim Carrey equivalent of Indian screen who can pull as many faces as there are stars in the sky and wear the weirdest clothes which make Beckhams sarong look graceful.
Here he plays Sidhu a buffoon who is the only man left in India who mistakes Chinese for being sindhis and plays a simpleton in search of a quiche get rich formula, while his honest mentor is played by the moral Mithun Chakraborty who looks tired and tanned and treats his adopted son as an A***hole who he virtually sends flying like a missile in the Delhi sky with multiple kick ass assaults which they both seem to be enjoying more then the audience.
So the Chinese enter this circus and mistake Sidhu as the reincarnate great ancient Chinese warrior who possess some special mojo desired by the Chinese warlord who desperately wants to grab those powers.
Gordon Liu plays the evil china man with a killer cowboy hat out of avengers and he is the only man who is taking this seriously as he stages some convincing action sequences.
He is whisked to china and the circus of horrors starts full swing as the essential sex siren crops in the form of Miss Deepika Paddukone in a double role ala Seeta Aur Geeta, and she is playing indo Chinese twins with the Chinese counterpart wearing a French cut wig bough from a charity shop for two quid’s.
The quaintly essential non existent story the proceeds to become sholay and Seeta Aur Geeta thanks to the endeavours of Advani who makes Chinese and Delhites look like the most mentally handicapped people on the planet.
It looks like a conspiracy hatched by USA and Pakistan against their opponents with the blessings of Bollywood. The characters sing some weird terms described as songs and i only recognised and enjoyed a recycled episode with a parody of some sixties classics from the past.
The rest of this comprises an Indian and Chinese clown who fly, fight and fart so fearsomely that in my opinion people will be reluctant to watch crouching tiger and hidden dragon again for hazardous blasphemy.
In short everyone here should be choked in Chandni Chowk for a callous and cruel torture and waste of resources.
A few hilarious jokes and some well executed action sequences prior to the interval followed by a stinking rat in a gutter in Chandni Chowk describes this but it is better ten Drona and God Tussi Great Ho as well as spirit and yes man.
So do whatever you wish to do as this cost millions and they need your charity please, so be patronising and merciful.