Even kids will have a hard time liking this one…
There are certainly dumber films out there than "Shorts," the newest effort from Robert Rodriguez ("Spy Kids," "Sin City," "Grind house"), but right off the top of my head I cannot think of any. Even for a children's movie, this has to be one of the dumbest productions of the year.
Going back to his "Shark Boy & Lava Girl" roots, Rodriguez has haplessly crafted a movie that makes absolutely no sense, being told in a series of almost unconnected vignettes (out of any conceivable order and with no satisfying conclusion). And this isn't saying very much at all, friends.
In the ultra suburban hamlet of Black Falls, a group of boys discover a multi-colored "wishing rock." Once they find out its true purpose, the children – and later the town's adult population – begin to abuse it, of course.
The lead kid, Toby "Toe" Thompson (Jimmy Bennett, "Orphan," "Star Trek"), is a hopeless nerd who is constantly being beat up by a girl classmate, Helvetica Black (Jolie Vanier).
He and his goofy friends, Loogi (Trevor Gagnon, "Big Fish"), Lug (Rebel Rodriguez – gee, I wonder who's kid he is?) and Nose Noseworthy (Jake Short) then have to battle not only the grown-up, but a series of badly-construct CGI characters (walking crocodiles, flying dinosaurs) brought to life by previous foolish wishes.
So, the children in this movie are not the greatest actors in the world, I have no problem with that. It's the adults who really disappoint, especially Oscar nominee William H. Macy (as Nose's idiotic and germophobic father) and Emmy contender James Spader ("The Practice") as Helvetica's greedy, corporate dad.
Toby's parents, Jon Cryer ("Two And-A-Half Men") and Leslie Mann ("Funny People," "Knocked Up"), do not fare much better in this half-baked comedy that could have come from the Disney Channel reject bin.
Like the better and more success Pixar animated movies, this one begins with a short subject film (about two kids staring at each other) – unfortunately, this is even worse than the feature.
Rating: 1 / 5