If it were only the fact that Nicolas Cage is as chronically miscast as the Balthazar Blake character that makes this movie a candidate for a Thanksgiving pardon, the cracks could have been papered over and we might have ended up with a dumb but enjoyable spy caper. However, added to this noxious brew is some of the laziest, most clunking CGI effects ever committed to celluloid, a leaky plot that would have a five year old with learning difficulties collapsed in paroxysms of mirth, a visibly embarrassed Alfred Molina and, last but by no means least, the wretched and overwhelmed Jay Baruchel, whose supposedly legendary one liners and are about as funny as a three day funeral.
Seriously, this is what two Oscar worthy actors can offer? Cage and Molina would have been an awesome hero and villain combo, but the darn kid and his ridiculous girlfriend plot keep getting in the way. Not to mention that Monica the magnificent is barely in the film at all. Watching 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice' is a lonely experience, like being the only sober person in a room full of maddening drunks. It revolves entirely around Cage's rubber-faced antics as the title character, which wouldn't be so bad if the movie wasn't a comedy wasteland, if Cage once – just once – stumbled across a single entertaining moment during his desperately hyperactive flailing, or if the supporting characters had anything to do besides look on as the visual effects romp around in devastatingly unfunny fashion. I like Cage when he's actually acting ('The Truman Show') but when he's like this I just squirm with embarrassment.