Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos), Larry (Sean Hayes), and Curly (Will Sasso) live in an Orphanage. A couple comes for an adoption; the three of them are brought out to them, eventually adding a fourth one when another boy, Teddy, enters the picture. The couple decides to pick Moe, but when he requests Larry and Curly join him, he is dropped back off at the orphanage and Teddy is chosen.
After 25 years they are still found to be living there helping and taking care of the kids. They have to arrange $830,000 in 30 days, in order to save the orphanage from shutting down. They decide to go out and try to raise the money somehow.
Meanwhile a woman called Lydia is trying to kill her lover, and offers them the money to do this job. However, the job is done incompletely and the supposed lover lands up in a hospital. The trio tries to visit hospital and kill him but they are chased throughout the hospital and escape by jumping off the roof using a fire hose. They end up running into a now grown up Teddy from the orphanage, who invites them to his anniversary party.
Their next scheme for raising the money has them selling farm raised salmon, with them scattering salmon on a golf range and watering them like produce. The trio is chased off the golf course and hides somewhere, where they have a huge argument and slapstick fight, and Larry and Curly leave. After they do so, it turns out they were all on stage in front of an audition crew, who select Moe to be the newest cast member of Jersey Shore as "Dyna-Moe".
Larry and Curly get along well without Moe, but decide to go and find him.
They visit the set of Jersey Shore to reunite with Moe, and they all head to the anniversary party where they appear to thwart the murder plot, only to discover Teddy’s adoptive father was the planner of it all, as he married into the money and was incensed to find out the money was left to Teddy and not him when his mother died years earlier. They are taken for a ride, but the car winds up in the water when Curly’s pet rat distracts them. Once they are back on land, Lydia, her lover, and Teddy's adoptive dad are arrested, and Teddy thanks the trio for saving him, but when they request the $830K, he turns them down blaming the orphanage to give him such a father who almost tried to kill him.
The trio sadly returns to orphanage just to find a whole brand new orphanage next door, complete with a swimming pool and tennis court. The money which Moe made from Jersey Shore has helped pay off the $830K and, along with contributions from the cast of Jersey Shore, which helped to put the down payment on the new place. The executive that got Moe on Jersey Shore also offered the entire trio a contract for a new show called “Nuns vs Nitwits”.
In the end, after causing one more incident, the trio run away and bounce off trampolines out of the orphanage onto horses, where they ride off into the sunset.